A room to think

Before you read please leave all your negativity and judgmental piece of mind behind. Please

So 2014 had been a really, very tough year for Malaysia and myself personally. I recently come back from OZ and as always I enjoyed every moment being there. So I had done a lot by a lot I mean A LOT LIKE MASSIVE DEEP THINKING while I was there.

What recently happened, the unfortunate ill fated flight that had been shot down news really hit me, hard. When I first board the plane for my trip to OZ, I secretly hope the plane will crash and I'd die in an instant because at that moment I thought that what I am going through at that particular time is emm.. too much? Sighh* But just because I had it hard doesn't mean I have to be selfish by sacrificing the other hundreds living souls that only God knows what are their aim of flying with me. And the main question is am I really ready for what awaits? The life in the hereafter? The answer will always be no.

And then I remembered a message from a friend of mine to doa banyak banyak during my musafir period. And then another message saying that God won't test us beyond what we are capable of. And then another tag on Instagram on a quote saying that God take something from us in order to replace them with something better. And the list goes on.. But talk is cheap and I'm losing hope, already.

As I said I had done a lot of thinking. When I was alone at YHA (it's the hostel with 6 people in a room I'm staying at) and I was alone because my friends went back a day earlier from me, I watched a movie starring Zac Efron 'The Awkward Moment'. It was a very very good movie that everyone should be watching minus the awkward part that we would not want to watch with our parents. So there's a line in the movie goes like ".. trying to figure out what to do between meals". And I started to think what is the purpose of me living in this world? And during the night, my room-mate asked me whether I'm studying and what course am I taking and she told me that she's doing some sort of teaching research and related to India (yes India the country) kind of thang. I can't remember clearly because I was sleeping and had been woken up. And she said ".. everybody should be given their freedom of expression, by doing what they love" and she did mentioned about something related to art. Yes art, the thing I feel like I am most passionate about. Major sighhhh*

And this is a big fat boring post already I will continue someday in part 2. Toodles!